Coldplay has recently announced a North American release date of June 17th for their new album Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends and have made the first single, Violet Hill, available as a free download at their official site Coldplay.com. Unfortunately, due to an unanticipated overload of traffic, there has been a tremendous amount of download problems. If you are experiencing such problems or delays downloading their new song, you may download the new single by clicking on a direct link to the file I have made here. Pressing on, Violet Hill is a slight departure from their previous releases and features noisier guitars and a stomping drum beat that one can envision as a great show opener. As a highly devoted fan of the group's music, at first listen I would have to slap myself by honestly saying that I was underwhelmed, uninspired and unimpressed. But, after the second or third time around, the song has definitely grown on me and I have come to appreciate the refreshing change of pace that is a precursor for what's to come. Let's hope the rest of the album stays with us long after the last note fades out.
"My brain says I'm receiving pain, a lack of oxygen, from my life support, my iron lung." -RadioheadAbout ten days have passed and I find myself awkwardly restructuring every routine that I have grown so accustomed to in order to recondition my daily life into this new, almost alien-like, way of living. I am slowly peeling away from something that was such a big part of my life--something after years and years had become so normal to me, second nature if you will. I did not realize how taxing this would be to me mentally, however I will note that it has become less and less demanding as days continue to pass. While the sun still rises and falls valiantly with the moon against the horizon and the world around me resumes itself in perfect harmony, my body does not--it lays still, frozen within a zone of discomfort and dumbstruck at the realization that I do not know what to do with myself during long periods of passing time. There was a moment the other day just after I had gotten myself dressed for work that I sat in my chair for an entire hour, staring at a blank wall trying to figure out what I should be doing. Almost everything that I have done up until now has been associated with smoking in one way or another and there is a challenge in filling that absence with something else "healthy." I am hoping that sudden urges or peaks of high stress will not get the best of me and I realize this will take some time to finally master. Fortunately it seems that I have more than enough of it.
Often times I think about things that could have been. Questions such as why am I here? and Am I missing out on something? occasionally surface when I am contemplating about such aspects of my life. This perpetual quest to find some sort of meaning to my existence is unremitting. No, my life is not filled with ornate luxuries, a wall full of admirable trophies or an abundance of wealth in which I am able to expend on society's more extravagant expenses, but does that really measure the quality of life I have lived and am living? Recently, I have self-examined myself and have mused over the many "things" that have brought me happiness, both genuinely and superficially. After much brooding, I have concluded that I have repeatedly searched for happiness and meaning in all of the wrong places. Perhaps when I am much older, when I may have fine-tuned this idea of mine--that true happiness comes not from material possessions and the things that I own, but from the abundance of experiences that I have lived through, the lessons I have learned, the wisdom I have passed down to others (knowingly or unknowingly) and with whom I have shared them with--can I truly be absolute in saying that I have found the reason by which I exist; an eternal place of my own in this life alongside the infinite number of those who are searching for the same truth. In the meantime, I can only live for the now, be happy for what I do have, appreciate the people among my small circle of friends whom encompass me and share in my experiences, and just expect that tomorrow will bring the unexpected. As Christopher Johnson McCandless has written in his journal:
"The Joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun."True happiness is to live, to be and to closely share it with others, nothing more. It is all the seemingly small things that make it all so worthwhile.
