And yet another night of restlessness drags on. It seems strange to me that time is not flying by like it normally does. Perhaps it is the lack of not knowing what to do with myself. Everyone is at the Bistro, and like a typical Tuesday night, I am here at home all by my lonesome. I just finished my routine workout--my body still "high" from the endorphins coursing through my veins--and I cannot seem to find anything to occupy me in this energized state. On the other hand, I feel almost paradoxical in the fact that I want to do something, yet I really feel the need to just sit here and relax at the very same time--do nothing at all if possible. Suki and Atrus are staring at me, relentless in their meows. I guess that is one thing I can go do--feed the cats. Funny how Atrus, with his own bowl full of food, likes to stick his head into Suki's bowl while she eats, wondering if her food is better than his.
What to do, what to do...
I just finished reading Beautiful Boy by David Sheff. Although I don't want to make this any kind of book review, I would like to say that it has been quite an exceptional read. Mr. Sheff provocatively takes you through his harrowing experiences as a parent with a drug-addicted son. I could not help but be thoroughly absorbed, finding his story dramatically riveting and searingly honest as he weathered his grief and worry onto paper while watching Nic, his son, deteriorate. At the same time his writing could be found quite therapeutic and highly informative for those who are suffering from similar situations. It has brought many things into perspective and has even given me a bit of insight into my own past addictions. I can admit that by the end of the book, my eyes had begun to well up in tears, crying for a father, a son, their family, their friends and everyone else who had been caught up in the midst of such a traumatic journey that was both unrelenting and unpredictable. David Sheff illustrates views from both himself and his son, and for this I could say that the grass is not at all greener on the other side--it is ravaged and desolate, overrun by despair, anguish and ruin. Now that I have completed Beautiful Boy, I can begin reading Nic Sheff's Tweak, a memoir of his experiences through these trying times. Nothing here is more concise than when Jasper, Nic's younger brother, explains in his own words what he thought addiction meant. "It's like in cartoons when some character has a devil on one shoulder [...] and an angel on the other."
Labels: .literature, .ramblings
